Buttweed Burning his Beard off in Vegas

Friday, August 9, 2013

How to Freeze Your Head

recently, while I should have been doing something productive at work (its hard to be productive at a guitar store) I was doing some research on the largest and most trustworthy encyclopedia in the world- Wikipedia.    There is something funny about Wikipedia.  You start out reading one article and then after about 10 minutes you've clicked on a bunch of different things and your reading something else.  You start off with Mitt Romney, jump to the Ebola Virus (somewhat related) skip to the chemical symbol for Gold (Au if you were wondering) etc.etc. you get the drift.  

LONG story short. .  .I was reading about Disneyland, and soon ended up reading that Walt Disney was cryogenically frozen somewhere under Cinderella's castle.  Then I skip to a site about cryo freezing and find out that anyone can cryogenically freeze themselves.  And what's even cooler is there is a company real close by in Arizona called ALCOR (sounds like a death metal band) that will do it!

Just so you know, cryogenic freezing is the process of cooling a living thing down to a temperature in which its cells can be preserved with the intention to "thaw" them out and bring them back to life later on down the road ala Han Solo. 

WHY didn't I think of this!? these people charge 150,000 bucks to take your body within 15 min after you die and put you in a freezer.  If your on the budget plan, they will cut your head off and freeze that for only 90,000.  What are you going to do in the future with just a head?  Well they're not sure but they're guessin that by the time they figure out how to wake you up in 500 years, they will probably know to regrow all of your other limbs. 

Here's what i'm thinkin - for about 300 dollars I can buy a freezer that can fit a dead moose.  That's about a couple dozen heads,  which is about a million dollars-  i'll be rollin in the benjamins!  You can never get any poor reviews from past clients, and your business expenses are pretty low!

seriously though, why would I pay someone all that money in the hopes that they can find me within 15 minutes after I die?  And i'm sure we are a long way out from waking up the frozen dead and regrowing they're bodies.  IF they could do it the cost would be way more than 150 K and you would wake up homeless with a 5 million dollar hospital bill. 

Well the jokes on them cause I put 100 bucks in a roth IRA before I died and the interest over a thousand years made me a billionaire while old Walt is waiting for his arms to grow back so he can draw more pictures of mice and squirrels.

Phillip "Phee" Richter(Lead Guitars)

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