Tonight, while driving home from a camping trip, Phee stopped by the liquor store to pick up some supplies. I was with him, but decided not to buy anything since we'd been drinking all weekend. After he made his purchase we headed back to our car to realize the tire had been smitten by a nail, and thus was flat. We didn't have a jack, so we had to wait for George to come bring us one. So being bored, I naturally went back into the liquor store and acquired some beer. It was at this moment I thought to myself,"Wow, god wants me to be an alcoholic." Then I thought about what a more religious folk would say and figured it'd be something like,"No, God was just testing you." And I failed. And that's when I came to the conclusion that if god exists, God is a girl.
So here's the difference: If god was a a real man and he didn't want me to drink; when I pulled up to the liquor store under clear blue skies, a lightning bolt would have struck it, igniting all the alcohol inside, and caused the entire establishment to viciously explode. In the midst of this, one of the two by fours that once supported the building and my drinking habit would plummet through my windshield, and straight into my liver, causing it to internally bleed, and be unable to filter alcohol ever again.
It's like when a girl tells you she's pregnant and you're thinking "oh shit, better renew my passport," but you tell her that you'll be there for the kid and she's like,"oh good, but I'm not really pregnant, that was just a test, and you passed, so lets continue dating." Then you still renew your passport.
Anyway, just my thoughts for the day. Enjoy the rest of yours and remember to keep rockin!
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