Mcdonald's Sponsoring the Olympics

     As many of you know, Mcdonalds is the main sponsor of the olympics, as well as Coca Cola.  Now lets take a big step back and analyze this for a minute:

Mcdonalds=Shit food with little if any nutritional value. 

The Olympics=Events consisting of athletes with the most fit and healthy bodies in the world.

    They might as well make the mascot for the Olympics Joe Camel since they seem to be going for polar opposites.  You don't see paraplegics modeling track pants just as you don't see gay men in condom commercials.  You wouldn't have a perfume line if you were a real man(Justin Bieber has one), and you wouldn't skydive out of a submarine.  So why the hell are we seeing advertisements of Olympic athletes eating cheeseburgers.

Any thoughts? Opinions? 

-Brandon"Buttweed" Richter

Mister Richter Stories: Tyler Goes to Jail, Buttweed Breaks His Arm

Buttweed

Entry #1: Tyler goes to jail, Buttweed snaps his arm in half, Phee gets rear ended.

      On Friday, December 15th, 2012, Tyler came over to Me and Georges apartment to have some brews, and ultimately get trashed. Rather early in the night, Tyler went missing.  George and I knew of a party to go to in Salt Lake, and decided to disregarded Tyler's absence.  After a night of the usual drunken bullshitting, and my friend Cole attempting to reenact my beard burning stunt, I woke up feeling great.  I mean i woke up in my car for some reason, in a snow storm, but great none the less. So I turned on my car and proceeded to go home, and somehow managed to get lost for two hours, before remembering I had driven Cole and George to the party. Apparently I was still drunk.  After circling the Salt lake valley, i went back to find Cole and George scavenging  off wounded soldiers.  We went back to the condo(making a beer run first) and decided to take advantage of the first snowfall of the year.
       After getting our snowboarding gear, we went to a local hill and built a jump. Shortly after, I got a call from Phee asking me if I had heard about Tyler. Tyler was still at our apartment complex the night before passed out in his car. He must've drunk walked to what he thought was our apartment, but went to the wrong building and found a futon to sleep on. He awoke to the cops and a crying old lady over him and was taken to jail for trespassing. I hung up the phone, laughed for a good 30 seconds, then finished a beer before strapping on my board and starting downhill towards our jump, feeling great. 
     I don't think it says anywhere on a beer can not to drink and snowboard, but take it from me, it's not a good idea.  In fact it's a really shitty one. I went up for a front flip, over rotated onto my face, and my arm. Which, judging by the cracking sound(and feeling), I'm surprised it was still attached to my body. After the doctors snapped my arm back into the general way it should be, I woke up and was informed that Phee had gotten rear ended after driving Tyler home from jail.

  (Not the old ladies couch, but probably the same scenario minus our friend Cole)

                                     (Actually my arm)

The Butt Mobile

Coming home after a long weekend of rock n roll and partying, Buttweed's car a.k.a the "Butt Mobile" exploded and crash landed on the side of I-15 south of Layton.  Since the last Buttmobile had also performed this maneuver, Buttweed took control of the situation and proceeded to walk the remaining 12 miles back to the "Butt Lair" in Bountiful. His amazingly hungover and almost certainly still intoxicated sidekick, Tyler stumbled along as well.

Upon arrival at the Butt Lair.  Tyler attempted to cure his hangover with the rest of the beer in phee's fridge, much to phee's dismay.  After some much needed rest, we enlisted the help of Mister Richter's Mormon Assault Vehicle and Rock and Roll Instrument Transport to go and salvage the Butt Mobile.

Upon Arrival of the point of the Butt Mobile's demise, we realized that it's invisibility cloaking device must have been activated.   For we could not see it. 

Never mind- long story short, the mother trucking Utah Highway Patrol towed our car within 2 HOURS of it being broken.  Way to truckin go,  Protect and SERVE, committed to community my Butt!!

Time to find a new Butt Mobile.

"Burning Man"

If you haven't seen Buttweed Burning his Beard off while in Vegas, you can now see it on the blog(See above)

How to Freeze Your Head

recently, while I should have been doing something productive at work (its hard to be productive at a guitar store) I was doing some research on the largest and most trustworthy encyclopedia in the world- Wikipedia.    There is something funny about Wikipedia.  You start out reading one article and then after about 10 minutes you've clicked on a bunch of different things and your reading something else.  You start off with Mitt Romney, jump to the Ebola Virus (somewhat related) skip to the chemical symbol for Gold (Au if you were wondering) etc.etc. you get the drift.  

LONG story short. .  .I was reading about Disneyland, and soon ended up reading that Walt Disney was cryogenically frozen somewhere under Cinderella's castle.  Then I skip to a site about cryo freezing and find out that anyone can cryogenically freeze themselves.  And what's even cooler is there is a company real close by in Arizona called ALCOR (sounds like a death metal band) that will do it!

Just so you know, cryogenic freezing is the process of cooling a living thing down to a temperature in which its cells can be preserved with the intention to "thaw" them out and bring them back to life later on down the road ala Han Solo. 

WHY didn't I think of this!? these people charge 150,000 bucks to take your body within 15 min after you die and put you in a freezer.  If your on the budget plan, they will cut your head off and freeze that for only 90,000.  What are you going to do in the future with just a head?  Well they're not sure but they're guessin that by the time they figure out how to wake you up in 500 years, they will probably know to regrow all of your other limbs. 

Here's what i'm thinkin - for about 300 dollars I can buy a freezer that can fit a dead moose.  That's about a couple dozen heads,  which is about a million dollars-  i'll be rollin in the benjamins!  You can never get any poor reviews from past clients, and your business expenses are pretty low!

seriously though, why would I pay someone all that money in the hopes that they can find me within 15 minutes after I die?  And i'm sure we are a long way out from waking up the frozen dead and regrowing they're bodies.  IF they could do it the cost would be way more than 150 K and you would wake up homeless with a 5 million dollar hospital bill. 

Well the jokes on them cause I put 100 bucks in a roth IRA before I died and the interest over a thousand years made me a billionaire while old Walt is waiting for his arms to grow back so he can draw more pictures of mice and squirrels.

Phillip "Phee" Richter(Lead Guitars)

God Is A Girl

                by Brandon"Buttweed" Richter(Lead Vocals)

     Tonight, while driving home from a camping trip, Phee stopped by the liquor store to pick up some supplies. I was with him, but decided not to buy anything since we'd been drinking all weekend.  After he made his purchase we headed back to our car to realize the tire had been smitten by a nail, and thus was flat.  We didn't have a jack, so we had to wait for George to come bring us one.  So being bored, I naturally went back into the liquor store and acquired some beer. It was at this moment I thought to myself,"Wow, god wants me to be an alcoholic."  Then I thought about what a more religious folk would say and figured it'd be something like,"No, God was just testing you." And I failed. And that's when I came to the conclusion that if god exists, God is a girl.
     So here's the difference: If god was a a real man and he didn't want me to drink; when I pulled up to the liquor store under clear blue skies, a lightning bolt would have struck it, igniting all the alcohol inside, and caused the entire establishment to viciously explode.  In the midst of this, one of the two by fours that once supported the building and my drinking habit would plummet through my windshield, and straight into my liver, causing it to internally bleed, and be unable to filter alcohol ever again.
     It's like when a girl tells you she's pregnant and you're thinking "oh shit, better renew my passport," but you tell her that you'll be there for the kid and she's like,"oh good, but I'm not really pregnant, that was just a test, and you passed, so lets continue dating." Then you still renew your passport.

Anyway, just my thoughts for the day. Enjoy the rest of yours and remember to keep rockin!




     
    

Memorial Day, Another excuse to get drunk

Memorial Day, Another excuse to get drunk

It’s funny how many federal holidays have been turned into federal drinking days. Lets take a day off to honor the people who died for our country, maybe drink a beer for them too. Forget about the reason we celebrate, just be comforted that you didn‘t miss work this morning due to the fact you still ran the risk of getting a DUI when you woke up. But all in all we are grateful for the brave men who gave their lives for us, and also thankful that not too many military men would be too upset that we drank an extra amount for them.

Don't forget to listen to Mister Richter this week to get you through the grind! 

-Brandon"Buttweed" Richter(Lead Vocals)